I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
