Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just gift wrapped bread.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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