why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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