He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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