I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
