i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Where is the hickey?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
