She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
