just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
