Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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