Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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