I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize