I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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