I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
