If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
love makes seman taste better
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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