Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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