They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
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Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
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I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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