do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
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Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
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I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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