Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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