I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
