Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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