He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
