yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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