Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
