sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
