Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You can't just leave with hair like that
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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