I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
