best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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