i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Do vagina's smell?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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