i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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