Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
