Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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