I heard we made out
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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