I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
