These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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