She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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