A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize