there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Congratulations! We have a period
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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