Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
