I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
