Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I need to calm my uterus...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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