I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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