In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Im part way to drunk.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize