IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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