so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
