Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
