If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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