you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
