quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
