dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
