My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
