I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm sobbing to NWA
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
