Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I would fuck him just for his dog
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