Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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