Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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