Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize