Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
