god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
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I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
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I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.