He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
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It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
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Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet