I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day