eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
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I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
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He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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