I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
